


Feels Like Forever

by NotOfImport



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bottom Bucky, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Rimming, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:36:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6252766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotOfImport/pseuds/NotOfImport
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Steve and Bucky have lived lives full of strife, and after they break down from the grief of their fate, the both of them soon after find comfort in each other's arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels Like Forever

They sat on the roof, legs swinging off the edge like school children in love. Stars were dimmed over the bright city lights in the distance, people with places to be at such an hour. The moon curved on that night, smiling down at the two boys turned men, thrown in turmoil and still finding such solace with each other. Their hands were laced together, the other appropriately gripping the rooftop for good measure. 

Bucky scooted closer to Steve, feet knocking together and thighs close together. He leaned into Steve, moving their hands to his lap and staring at them fondly. It was quiet for a long time, the two of them just enjoying the city noises and distant lights. 

“I remember the last time we had a night like this.” Steve turned his head to look at Bucky, soft hair whipping around in the chill, a small smile on his lips. Steve sat quietly. 

“I found you on the roof of our place on the anniversary of Sara-” he shook his head, “your mom’s funeral, I think it was a year. I was worried out of my mind, it was so cold and I couldn’t find you for the longest time. But you were just sitting peacefully, didn’t hear me come up and I woulda scared you, you know, if we hadn’t been on the roof.” He laughed, and Steve cracked a smile. 

“I remember, Buck. We sat like this all night, I told you to go at first. Glad you didn’t.” Steve turned his head and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s temple, soft hair in the way but it still made his heart flutter. Bucky leaned even closer, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. He let out a big sigh, as if all his troubles and responsibilities could be exhaled. 

“God, I miss those days.” He clapped his hand on his knee, “But, where you go I go right? And, now we’re both here.” His lips were still turned up in a sweet smile, breathing softly against Steve and stroking his thumb back and forth along Steve’s hand. 

“Do you regret any of it?” Steve wasn’t smiling anymore, he stared blankly past everything in front of them, feeling Bucky’s head shake against his shoulder. 

“Not really,” He sat up to look at Steve, turning his whole body to face him, “Why? Do you?” 

Steve turned, a false half smile briefly crossing his lips when Bucky stared, concerned as always. Steve pulled a leg up onto the roof, crossing it under his other and turning to match Bucky. “I don’t know, Buck. I mean, I’ve done good things but-” He dropped his head, fiddling with loose rocks and tossing them off the roof. 

Bucky crouched to try and catch Steve’s eyes, “C’mon Steve, I hate when you do that, look at me.” His eyes sparkled when they finally caught Steve’s, “We’re both messes, so talk to me.” 

They both let out quiet laughs at that, and Steve sniffled, the cold finally getting to him. 

Bucky stood up, pulling Steve’s hand along with him, “But let’s go inside, I’m freezing.” 

Steve nodded, steadying himself before following Bucky. Bucky let go of Steve’s hand, instead wrapping both arms around his waist and walking alongside him into their small apartment. 

\--

The lights were dim in their cozy home, and Bucky walked along with Steve, keeping hold of his waist until they were seated close on the couch. They both kicked off their shoes and Steve sat in the corner of the couch, swinging his legs onto the length of it. He leaned back against the arm and held his arms open for Bucky to fall into. 

They lay there together on the couch, Steve’s arms wrapped around Bucky, playing with his hands and feeling all the small scratches in Bucky’s metal hand. Small motors in his fingers whirring as they wrapped around Steve’s hand and kept him from fidgeting. 

“Steve, you’re deflecting.” Bucky craned his neck to look into Steve’s eyes, a dark blue in the light of the apartment. Steve just reached best he could to press his lips atop Bucky’s head. 

“I’m not just - come closer.” Bucky did as asked and flipped himself over, his chest atop Steve’s and head resting at the base of his neck. Steve secured his arms even tighter around Bucky, a smile on his face as he slipped his hands up Bucky’s soft t-shirt, fingers pressing softly against the toned skin. 

“Steve I-” Bucky shivered under the touch, “I know what you’re trying to do.” Bucky looked up, his chin resting atop Steve’s chest and his eyes piercing into Steve’s. 

“Do what?” Steve continued to run his hands along the muscles, “I’m not doing anything.” He smirked at Bucky, some sort of sadness still sitting in his eyes. 

“Stop playing dumb, I’m not gonna sleep with you until you tell me what’s wrong.” He pouted, eyes narrowing and head turning back to look away from Steve. 

Steve sighed, refusing to stop running his warm hands against Bucky’s cold skin, fingertips reaching the forever fading scars at the end of his arm. He remained silent a few moments more, readying himself for the commitment of admitting he was anything but okay. 

“Part of me doesn’t understand anymore, what it is I’m doing here. I thought I’d rid the world of Hydra, that I’d avenged your sacrifice by wiping those bastards out. And years later I awake to a world full of the corruption I thought we’d fought so hard to get rid of. Not only that, but they’d gotten _you_ , your terrible, good heart. And they made you do-” He paused, and Bucky could feel the heavy sigh accompanied by a sniffle. 

Bucky looked up, seeing tears forming in Steve’s eyes. He reached a hand up, wiping away the tear that was beginning to run down the side of his face. 

“Sorry, Buck.” He sniffled again, his eyes puffing slightly. He always was an easy crier. And the sight broke the reforming pieces of Bucky’s heart yet again. 

“It’s okay, Steve, you’re getting it out this is good.” Steve nodded, inhaling deeply before continuing. 

“They made you do _horrible_ things, they turned the world against you when I’d found you once again. Confusion and relief filling my head when I saw you. And then..I lost you again. You were gone and in that floating city I thought I was too. I remember standing there with Nat, and she’d found peace with it. She’d found peace with her death, and I wondered again why we were there, why she thought she deserved that.

“It was horrible, Buck. But here we are, together and happy and everything should be good, right? I thought it would be. I don’t know.” He shook his head, wrapping his arms even tighter around Bucky, his face wet with tears. 

Bucky, too, found himself crying, remembering what he could of his time with Hydra and feeling the hopelessness that Steve described. 

“I know, Steve, I know. When I woke up from that hell, one of the deepest feelings I’d had was disdain for myself and how much pain I must’ve caused. How much pain I definitely did cause. It felt..hopeless. And I sat there, remembering you, and seeing Pierce there, a watery, aged version of you that must’ve been the reason they could keep me down for so long. He-” Bucky’s voice trembled, and Steve felt the tears soaking into his shirt. 

“He put me in that machine and tried to make me kill you again, and if I had..fuck, if I had then I don’t- I-” His words were replaced by sobs, chest heaving against Steve and forcing more tears out of his eyes. 

Steve pushed himself to talk more, to comfort the both of them, sniffling before he spoke. 

“But you didn’t, you didn’t, Buck. And I’m here, and you’re here, and we’re okay. In the most basic way, we’re okay. We’re alive, and-” His sobs fell out upon hearing how terribly Bucky was crying, throttled by recalling the memories of his torture. 

“I love you, I love you. I missed telling you, I missed _you_. Even with you in my arms, there’s an ache in my heart for you, I’m afraid I’ll never get to be close enough. But I love you, I do. And we’re going to get through things, together, and with the people who love us.” 

Bucky’s sobbing had subsided, but Steve still felt the teardrops falling onto his shirt. 

He sniffled, “I love you, Steve.” He turned his head, resting his chin atop Steve’s chest. His eyes were red, cheeks not yet stained with dry tears, and bottom lip trembling oh so slightly. 

Steve slipped a hand away from Bucky’s back, moving to wipe the tears from his face. He rested his hand against his cheek, guiding it along as Bucky scooted closer to kiss him. His lip continued to tremble, but he pressed them against Steve’s and was lost in it. Their lips moving slowly and softly over and under each other, Bucky’s chapped, pink lips sliding against Steve’s wet mouth. 

His hand still cupping the side of Bucky’s face, he traced his other hand again along the smooth muscles. He felt Bucky shiver under the touch, and smiled against his lips, the smallest laugh leaving Bucky’s mouth and filling Steve’s nerves with warmth. 

Bucky pressed himself closer to Steve, grinding softly against him as he reached his metal hand up to Steve’s short, messy hair, the other sliding down to his crotch, massaging over his khakis and eliciting stifled moans. They fell out between Steve’s lips, the restrained breath hitting Bucky’s mouth, a smile crossing his lips. 

The hand that was cupping Bucky’s face left, joining the other underneath his t-shirt and pulling the shirt over his head. 

His skin glistened in the soft lighting, beads of sweat forming atop his hot skin. He moved his hands away from Steve’s body, sitting up, legs straddling Steve’s waist and moving to unbutton his shirt. Steve leaned up, watching Bucky’s concentration as he fiddled with the buttons, his chest rising and falling with slow, heavy breaths as more and more of Steve’s chiseled torso was revealed. 

As Bucky unbuttoned the last one, he swallowed hard, pulling the shirtsleeves away from Steve’s arms and tossing the tight, blue shirt on the floor. 

“God, Steve. You’re so gorgeous.” The words lingered on his lips, bringing a blush to Steve’s cheeks as Bucky ran his hands along Steve’s abs, up to his pecs and tracing them along his soft collar bone. 

Steve shifted under Bucky, the fabric of his khakis tightening as Bucky continued to marvel at him, running his hands along the strained muscles in his arms, down to his wrists. He grabbed Steve’s hands and placed them against his own hips. 

Steve’s hands fixed firmly on Bucky’s hips, fingers pressed roughly against the skin as Bucky pushed down atop him, leaning forward to meet Steve’s lips once again. 

He felt his own jeans growing tighter as Steve pressed his lips messily against Bucky’s, sucking on his bottom lip and drawing moans from him. Bucky pulled away, sitting back up to yank off his jeans, sliding them down his thick thighs and revealing jet black boxer briefs. He shuffled around atop Steve until the denim jeans joined their shirts on the hardwood floor, before reaching tentatively for the button on Steve’s pants, giving him a look and waiting till he nodded to start pulling off the bottoms. 

Bucky lifted himself off of Steve to get the khakis all the way off, tossing them on the floor before sitting back on his lap. They stared at each other a moment more, Bucky’s eyes shifting back and forth from Steve’s baby blue eyes to his red, swollen lips. Steve licked his lips, drawing Bucky in even further. 

Steve whispered into the air, as if someone could hear them in the empty apartment, “Buck, do you-” Bucky nodded eagerly, and Steve scooted himself further down the couch, placing his hands once again on Bucky’s hips and tugging the boxer briefs down off his legs. 

He grinded once more against Steve’s boxers before turning himself around and sitting atop Steve’s face. Steve grabbed ahold of him, separating his cheeks and running his tongue back and forth. Bucky’s moans grew louder, eyes screwed shut and head thrown back as he grinded faster, encouraging Steve to play around even more, eliciting even more whimpers and moans. 

Bucky reached blindly for Steve’s torso, leaning forward far as he could without disruption before his fingertips finally reached the waistband of Steve’s boxers. He slipped his hands underneath, sliding them down far as he could and forcing his eyes open to see what he was doing. 

His eyes fell upon a throbbing erection, the shaft slick with beads of precum. Bucky wrapped his hand around it, his metal hand reaching back to grip Steve’s shoulder and keep him steady. He stroked along the shaft, running his thumb along the tip and feeling Steve’s desperate moans. 

He threw his head back again, hair falling off of his shoulders and jawline sharpened as he drew further and further back. 

“Steve I-” Bucky whimpered out the words, writhing against Steve and breathing heavily into the warm air. 

Steve responded by grabbing tighter to Bucky, flicking his tongue back and forth again before tapping against Bucky and reaching blindly for the drawer in the coffee table. 

Bucky lifted himself off of Steve after noticing what he was reaching for. He let go of Steve, pulling himself away to reach in the drawer and pull out a small bottle of lube and handing Steve the bottle of water sitting on the glass table. 

“Here.” He breathed out, sitting again below Steve’s waist and watching Steve swish the water in his mouth before spitting it back into the bottle. Bucky laughed, squirting out a dollop of the clear lube into his hand. 

“You’re disgusting.” Bucky smiled at Steve, wrapping his hand back around Steve’s erection and slicking it up even more. Steve let his head fall against the couch, a returned laugh falling out of his lips. 

“Well, I’ll just never eat you out, then.” Steve breathed heavily, raising a hand to his forehead and moaning as Bucky lifted himself up and lowered down slowly, shivering at the new feeling. 

Bucky let out a deep, shuddered sigh, “I’m offended at the notion.” He felt Steve’s hands return to his hips, one of them sliding down his soft curves and around the front to his erection. Bucky grinded back and forth atop Steve, metal hand reaching for Steve’s free one, their fingers lacing together as they moved. Steve, stroking along, pulling breathy whimpers from the base of Bucky’s throat. 

Steve pushed himself further into Bucky, filling him up and gripping tighter to his metal fingers, the motors whirring and plates shifting ever so slightly. 

They moved together, loud moans filling the apartment, breaths drawing back in sharply as Steve pressed into the right spots. He watched Bucky writhe around, sliding a hand up Bucky’s torso, around his neck and pulling him down. 

Bucky leaned forward, their damp torsos pressing together as Bucky continued to shift against him. Their lips crashed together, Bucky grinding faster as more and more moans kept their lips apart, hot breath colliding in the space between them. Their hands were still interlocked, and Bucky slid them up the arm of the couch, the muscles in Steve’s arm straining, Bucky’s metal plates shifting around as their arms stretched far as they could. 

“Steve,” Bucky’s words were broken by moans, “Steve I- oh, fuck. I love you, god, Steve.” His breaths fragmented, and he let his forehead fall against Steve’s, thick strands of hair between them. 

“I love you, Bucky, fuck, I love you.” Steve held tighter to Bucky’s hand, continuing to thrust up into him, and moments after he feels Bucky lose it. He writhed against Steve, coming against their chests, warm and sticky between them. Steve pressed into Bucky once more before he reached climax, still within Bucky and sending shivers through both of them. 

Bucky lifted himself off of Steve with what energy he had, falling back on top of him with a sigh. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair, flicking some strands out of his face, piercing blue-grey eyes behind them. He leaned his head forward, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s forehead. 

“We’re going to be okay, Steve.” Bucky moved his head to look into Steve’s eyes, breathing slowly with his lips turned up in a smile. 

Steve nodded slightly, a small smile crossing his face, he let his head fall against Bucky’s, hearing his soft breaths fill the air.

“We will be, one day.”


End file.
